Meet Kate Renner
Kate Renner converted to Judaism under Rabbi Kirshbaum’s guidance in a September 2024 ceremony at BHC. Rabbi Kirshbaum is now tutoring Kate’s eldest daughter Raya for her upcoming bat mitzvah.
Kate Renner is a member of Congregation Beth El in St. Johnsbury but she is familiar with Bethlehem and BHC. From 2004 to 2014, she and her husband, Ben Mirkin, worked and lived at The White Mountain School. Early in their tenure they both taught. Then, she continued in the art department while he went to grad school and ran the school’s summer program. Ben, who was raised in an observant home, attended holiday services at BHC, and Kate remembers accompanying him occasionally and celebrating the bat and bar mitzvahs of their friends’ kids there (for BHC old timers, the Zanger and Kaplan children).
Serendipity defines how Kate and Ben met. In 2003, Kate was teaching at a high school in Vermont. Ben was living in North Conway, working for the Appalachian Mountain Club. One holiday weekend, Kate was driving to her family in Maine and stopped for coffee along the way. Ben waited to meet a friend in the same parking lot so they could go rock climbing. However, a parade temporarily closed the road - Kate and Ben were stuck in the lot. They struck up a conversation and hit it off. Finally, the road opened, and Ben’s friend could arrive. Kate was stunned to discover he was a friend of hers as well! The relationship of Kate and Ben was off to a favorable start.
When the couple decided to marry, in 2006, Kate said neither Ben nor his parents put pressure on her to convert. “I always knew we’d have a Jewish household, and my future kids would go to Hebrew school,” she said, “but I didn’t want to convert for convenience.” The act of accepting a new religion needed to hold more meaning for her. She acknowledged, too, that the task of learning Hebrew seemed daunting given her busy schedule, and she believed this was a requirement for conversion.
In 2014, Kate and her family moved to Kirby, VT. She teaches animation and illustration at Vermont State-Lyndon, and Ben teaches outdoor education and leadership there. Hannah, their second daughter, was born in 2016. Occasionally, the couple would attend an event at Congregation Beth El, but their real engagement with the synagogue occurred when her daughter Raya began Hebrew school. She was one of only two children preparing for a bat mitzvah. Our own Rabbi Donna Kirschbaum was engaged to teach them, and in the process of watching Raya learn more formally about her religion, Kate became serious about converting. R. Kirschbaum became her guide, meeting with Kate on Sunday mornings before Raya’s instruction. R. Kirschbaum also became a friend as the two women discovered they both play the cello and take part in summer musical events.
Of the conversion process, Kate said, “Every week there were surprises. I was familiar with Jewish culture, but where the practices originated was news to me.” She added, “It was often news to Ben as well!” Perhaps her biggest misconception was around Shabbat. As a child, Kate had attended a church with her mother that she considered welcoming and inclusive. Yet, “I thought of Shabbat like church,” she said. “There were many rules to follow to be observant: you have to clean the house for it, then you can’t do this or that during the day.” But she discovered there is a reverse, positive way to approach Shabbat. “It’s the opposite of what I thought. You leave this time open, not doing the usual things you have to do. That way, you make yourself available to you own thoughts and to your relationship with G-d.” The preparation beforehand and the abstaining from everyday tasks “is what allows you to be free to be available.”
Right in the middle of Kate’s study for conversion the October 7 massacre occurred and the ongoing war began. It’s been disturbing; she acknowledged confusion and concluded, “my thought process is layered.” She recognizes she may internalize the situation differently, for she understands generational trauma: “I didn’t have ancestors who were forced to flee for their lives.” The resurgence of antisemitism has reached her household, however. Her daughter has had two upsetting incidents since the war started.
Kate’s celebration of conversion was held at BHC on September 7, 2024. Prior to that, she appeared before a Zoom-arranged beit din and was submerged in a spring-fed lake which R. Kirschbaum said met the criteria for use as a mikveh. R. Kirschbaum assured her the inability to read Hebrew was not a roadblock to conversion. Even so, Kate laughed as she said, “I’d still like to learn it - but I’d like to sweep my floor first.” The years raising kids and working full-time are jam-packed. For now, she’s content with learning some Hebrew through her children’s studies.
We can look forward to seeing more of Kate and her family as Raya plans her bat mitzvah in our sanctuary in the coming year.